It can be overwhelming to stare down the blank screen of a word processor or the open lines of a fresh notebook leaf, especially if it is your responsibility to fill the empty space with significant words. Whether you are writing biographies to include in your family history book or you are compiling a one page tribute to remember a particular relative, it can be difficult to decide what to say and how to say it.

There are a few tips and ideas that can be very useful in this kind of writing to help you to create a powerful, personalized final product.

Don’t be intimidated.
Those family stories…that unique family trivia…the personal memories….

Why are these things so much easier to talk about than to write about for most of us? My feeling is that when it comes time to put pen to paper we simply think too much. We attempt to be someone we are not; we try too hard to write like a professional journalist or author, when most of us are not. Writing for your family does not have to be that way. Formal writing can be cold and impersonal – obituaries being perfect examples of this. What you write for your family should make them feel like you are there talking to them when they read it, so if it helps, just write like you talk. Be yourself.

When it comes to our family memories it is far too important that they be saved, for us to worry so much about every i being dotted and every t being crossed. Writing well should not be completely dismissed, but neither should it be the obstacle to keep you from putting down the story that your grandchildren always ask you to tell.

Focus your audience.
If you are having difficulty with what to say or how to say it, then try to concentrate on a specific family member, or a particular generation of your family, who did not have the opportunity to be familiar with the relative you are writing about.

Narrowing your audience in this way helps to bring the most important pieces of the life story into focus. There are obviously many facts and tales connected to every life. First include the things that you most want your family to know and then consider the audience you are focusing on and think about what they would want to know. Are their common interests such as hobbies, appearance or personality traits? All of which are things that create a personal connection and a deeper interest. Are their funny memories that might make a relative more memorable and their story more entertaining? Did your relative participate in a historic event that might help later generations to consider the time in which this person lived?

Personal content.
Don’t fall into the cold facts trap. Including the basic information is fine, but don’t limit yourself to it. Obituaries, for example, commonly provide a useful source of biographical information, but the list of community memberships and political affiliations they dwell on tell us little about who are relatives really were. When including essential facts like birth and marriage, don’t just list dates. Tell the stories around the events. Was the baby born at home? Was he named for the doctor who delivered him? How did a couple meet? Was her sister the maid of honor?

Stories do not have to be heroic or outstanding to be worthy of preservation. The real life stories that make us laugh, cry or just nod our heads in understanding are the ones that actually make us feel like these were real people who we can comprehend and relate to.

Personal tone.
Mentioned above, but worthy of reiteration, be yourself when you write. Just write the way you talk. When you write your memories of your relatives, preserving their stories, you will be preserving a piece of your story too. What you choose to tell, the words you use to tell it, and the way you express those words will leave an imprint of you on the story.

Reading a postcard my great-grandmother wrote to her mother in 1916 gives me the only hint I have of what it would have been like to have a conversation with her. I can almost hear her voice as I read her message.

What you write will have the same effect on future generations of your family.

Adding research to the memoirs.
If you decide to conduct and include genealogical research in your writing (anything from family papers to official documents) you can leave a trail for your family to follow by citing your sources. It can be an easy and useful addition. If you find a fact that is not in your common knowledge, just write down where you found it and you will be helping an interested relative learn even more about your family.

Want more ideas?
If you are interested in learning more, two great sources for writing tips are:

You Can Write Your Family History by Sharon DeBartolo Carmack (Cincinnati, Ohio: Betterway Books, 2003) 

Producing A Quality Family History by Patricia Law Hatcher, CG (Salt Lake City, Utah: Ancestry Inc., 1996)

A great and easy-to-use guide for source citation is:

Evidence! Citation & Analysis for the Family Historian by Elizabeth Shown Mills (Baltimore: GPC, 1997).